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October 22, 2003

Sample LSAT Questions

Just thought you all might like to see a sample from the LSAT, the mighty instrument which decides who is fit for law school and who is not. Who knows? Maybe you could be a lawyer!

Question #6

John: The current speed limit of 65 mph is unsafe. At such high speeds, drivers cannot stop their cars in time to avoid accidents. Clearly, the speed limit should be reduced.

Mary: God, will you shut the fuck up? You stupid, impotent little man, I can’t fucking believe you’re actually still whining about the fucking speed limit. “Oh, no, I’m dwiving too fast! I’m gonna wet my twousers! I want my mommy! Waaaaah!” Cheesedick.

Mary responds to John’s argument by:

a) pointing out that John’s argument is based on an assumption for which he has provided no support
b) implying that John’s mother is a prostitute
c) tearing John a new asshole in a fit of coke-induced rage
d) suggesting that the remedy John proposes may have undesirable consequences that would outweigh its benefits
e) showing John her boobs

Question #8

Theo: Every time I go out drinking, I lose all memory of what happened past 10:00 p.m. and I wake up with somebody’s bra hanging from my ceiling fan. Although I do not remember anything that happened past 10:00 p.m. last night, there is no bra hanging from my ceiling fan. Therefore, I spent last night in bed, asleep.

Theo’s reasoning is flawed because it:

a) mistakes a sufficient cause for a necessary cause
b) ignores the fact that everyone knows Theo is a goddamn drunk who’d shoot Nyquil if he was desperate enough
c) disallows the possibility that someone slipped him a mickey
d) makes an assumption which, if taken to its extreme, would result in the annihilation of all life on Earth
e) assumes that the huge, bristling thing he had in his mouth last night was a clitoris

Question #10

Engineer: Britney Spears is often seen singing and dancing at the same time during her concerts. But that is impossible. No human being can maintain the steady airstream needed to produce musical tone and shake her booty at the same time. Therefore, Britney Spears is clearly some kind of cyborg.

The engineer’s argument is based on the assumption that:

a) a cyborg would be capable of executing white-girl hip-hop moves and singing “Whoops, I Did It Again” at the same time
b) he will not be sued to a thin red paste by PepsiCo for even suggesting that Britney Spears is not human
c) that is, in fact, Britney Spears performing and not Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore or Jessica Simpson
d) the nuclear device implanted in Britney's left hip will detonate, killing every twelve-year-old girl within six miles, unless COBRA's demands are met within 24 hours
e) anyone reading this question gives a flying fuck about Britney Spears

The correct answers will be posted at this website on October 27th, 2010.

posted by n8 at 01:40 PM


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