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November 04, 2003

Why Polling Doesn't Work, Part 1

Whether it's by virtue of my relatively common name, my close personal relationship with Jesus Christ, or that gypsy I accidentally backed over a few years ago, I have a long history of being mistaken for other people through the mail. Occasionally, this will work to my advantage, such as when it landed me an employment opportunity I was otherwise entirely unqualified for. More often, it's just inexplicable, such as when I was recently invited to join both the AARP and the Johns Hopkins University Alumni Association.

This, however, was a first. Allow me to summarize:

"You have been selected to represent your local voting district in a Majority Leader's Survey ... Because it is cost-prohibitive to send a Survey to every registered Republican in the United States -- your answers will represent the views and opinions of ALL Republicans living in your voting district."

And wait, there's more!

"Your answers will help shape the core message of our 2004 Campaign Strategy to defend our Republican Senate Majority ... and while we appreciate those Democrats who have rallied around the President and his agenda in these challenging times, many other LIBERAL DEMOCRATS are more determined than ever to the retake the Senate [sic] and undermine President Bush's vision for a stronger, safer, more prosperous America.

"You see, the liberal Democrats don't agree with President Bush. They want BIGGER GOVERNMENT and HIGHER TAXES. They want MORE OF YOUR HARD-EARNED MONEY to spend on their big government programs.

"Will you stand by me in this crucial effort?"

Oh, I will, Mr. Frist! I will!

posted by whitey at 05:50 AM


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