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January 20, 2005

A Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please bless us on this Inauguration Day of the Second Holy Republican Empire. Give us the strength to eat apple pie in one hand while we crush those who do not hold our beliefs with the other. We pray that we will grow rich and fat off of the spoils of our holy war for the freedom of oil across the world, wherever it may take us. Smite those who are different from us so that they may not ruin the taste of our pie, and grant us clarity and strength so that we may totally and completely remake the world in our vision. We pray for our nation, under God, with liberty and justice for us.

We do this in our (and, of course, your) name.


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