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drink when you see the robot

February 18, 2005

Ph34r /\/\y l33t ski11z

Scared? Microsoft can help. All hail Bill.

March 08, 2004

Shiver Me Timbers...

Looking to pay your lover back for our Valentine's Day recommendation?

Here's an eyepatch s/he won't be expecting... (not for work.)

February 14, 2004

Ahoy! Happy Valentine's Day!

Avast! Be any of ye scurvy dogs seekin' the perfect gift for yer matey this year? This fine getup is sure to keep ye out of Davey Jones's locker and have ye droppin' anchor and plunderin' booty in no time! Arrrr!


posted by whitey at 12:35 PM | Comments (0)

September 16, 2003

Yo ho ho, and a bottle of ...

I had never bothered to actually read about music piracy from the RIAA website before. It really puts things into a perspective that I felt was missing from the discussion before.

Here is the most salient quotation:

Old as the Barbary Coast, New as the Internet - No black flags with skull and crossbones, no cutlasses, cannons, or daggers identify today’s pirates. You can’t see them coming; there’s no warning shot across your bow. Yet rest assured the pirates are out there because today there is plenty of gold (and platinum and diamonds) to be had. Today’s pirates operate not on the high seas but on the Internet, in illegal CD factories, distribution centers, and on the street. The pirate’s credo is still the same--why pay for it when it’s so easy to steal? The credo is as wrong as it ever was. Stealing is still illegal, unethical, and all too frequent in today’s digital age. That is why RIAA continues to fight music piracy.

I didn't know that pirates were after platinum and diamonds too. And they had cutlasses and cannons and daggers? Wow! Pirates are even cooler than I thought they were before, and I owe it all to the RIAA. Yar!

September 10, 2003


Nothing could be better than coming home and serving up some Pirate's Pleasure.

On the worst of days, however, you might find yourself tragically low on the Cap'n and even 'scoring points' with the Cap'n's rum wenches doesn't soothe your pain. Lucky for you, Admiral Nelson offers a blatantly obvious and inexpensive substitute, and with a slogan like "Moderate drinking is smart thinking", you really can't go wrong. Eyepatches have never been sexier.

Still inadequate? Have you tried Sailor Jerry, Long John Silver, the high quality Captain Neil, or even Calico Jack?

P.S. Nick- please note the contribution of three new pirate/booze combo submissions from the Admiral's good website to be credited as appropriate.

P.S.S. This is one of the best drink names ever.

P.S.S.S. Stop by with a bottle of each of the above and I'll throw you one helluva Bucaneer Bash. (May be combined with redemption of Jules-Verne-Octodog party)

P.S.S.S.S. I feel so very inadequate.

August 26, 2003

Pirate Fun!

Ever wonder what pirates used to do for fun in their world? They keep monks in cages and ride them like ponies.

Apparently, they would also force people to get drunk, which, well, just doesn't seem that terrible a punishment.

While I'm at it, also note that the 'meat category' is covered by pirate gleefully feeding a prisoner a human heart. The only thing 'beej' is missing is a good ol' fashioned monkey-pirate woodcut.

August 25, 2003

Arrrgh! Thank Ye, Come Again!

I can think of no better site with which to christen our new Piracy category than the store at 826 Valencia in San Francisco: your one-stop shopping destination for eyepatches, hooks, striped socks, treasure chests, cannonballs, planks (by the foot), peglegs (sized to fit), and lard.

posted by whitey at 10:51 AM | Comments (0)

August 22, 2003

Things We Have Learned ...

...about pirates.

"Pirates can get really fussy when it comes to drinking rum.
Heck, thats there main drink.
Drink too much rum and you get very fat.
So don't drink too much rum you pirates." [link]

July 07, 2003

Arrrgh! Grog was me Gateway Drug!

Do you read Cyrillic and subscribe to a vehemently anti-alcohol philosophy? Failing that, are you in the market for some freakishly incomprehensible propaganda to spice up your home bar or neighborhood boozing establishment? Either way, I've got three words for you, and I can't pronounce any of them.

Yes, it's good to know that in times of need, we can always count on our Russian friends to keep us appraised of the danger posed by baby-eating wine; the Kool-Aid Man's evil twin brother; and, of course, Kapitan Morganslav, the lovable liquor-tobacco-and-heroin pirate.

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