December 08, 2005

Rock?

I never thought I'd live to see Fender do this. But wow.

October 14, 2005

Math may be hard...

...but I'm easy!

December 09, 2003

My Personal Sentinel

Ever wished you could have your own sentinel? Well, you can't have the real thing, but you can have the toy. Also available: Bullet-dodging Neo, the Morpheus statue, and, of course, Trinity.

September 26, 2003

The Perfect Mix ...

...of technology and alcoholism.

August 21, 2003

When I Said 'Freeze', I Meant It

"The device uses two beams of UV radiation to ionize paths in the air along which electrical current is conducted to and from the target. In effect, the beams create wires through the atmosphere wherever they are pointed.

"The current within these beams is a close replication of the neuro-electric impulses that control skeletal muscles. It is imperceptible to the target person because it differs from his own neural impulses only in that its repetition rate is sufficiently rapid to tetanize muscle tissue. (Tetanization is the stimulation of muscle fibers at a frequency which merges their individual contractions into a single sustained contraction.)"

August 05, 2003

Now You Can Bowl with the King of Rock and Roll!

Add this stylin' ball to the costume strategy for the fall Fool's League, and we will be unstoppable.

July 24, 2003

So. Very. Much. Shiny.

Honestly, this entire site puts us to shame.

Don't forget the testimonials: "I love this website cuz it is real. It got jewlery that people actually wanna buy that isnt to expensive."

July 21, 2003

Weapon of Choice: The Dewey Decimal System

I must have one of these action figures to pose in thrilling battle against Trinity on my bookshelf at work. Must.

May 22, 2003

Look, don't touch

"Exo-electric armor." Want.

April 29, 2003

Buy me one.

I have suddenly been cured of my longing for an iPod. I'll consider it my own RIAA't inciting "concealed carry".

Do Not Buy Me:

Anything that arrives in my email as spam with the subject line: "Unique Present For Septic Tank Owners."

April 11, 2003

Shop 'til you drop.

Products of the Apocalypse: "specializing in Biblical Plague Snowdomes and other spiritual disasters."

I want one.